I am tired

This is going to be a little personal.

Recently, I was talking to a friend and as the conversation went on, she mentioned how in a certain college, students are very desirous of knowing each other's caste and even the divisions in those castes. It wasn't new. We have seen it for ourselves how people add their caste names and flags on their instagram bios and boast about their caste leaders. Even then, it was disturbing to hear when she explained it to me. A few months ago there were students who went on wearing religious symbols and shouting their pride for their religion out. What is wrong with all the students? It agitates me so much when students or educational institutions are involved in matters like this. Why do we even study? 

I was at denial, believing that we are far away from the stupid discrimination practice that existed when I wasn't even born. How foolish! One after the other there are so many, so many incidents that suggest we are comfortably going back in time. It irritates me when the matrimonial ads come on the television with the names of certain castes. 

I used to tell myself, as much as I have the freedom to choose to stay out of this, they have the choice to follow and enjoy what they believe. But very recently I started losing hope. 

I still tell myself it is not their mistake. They are raised that way. Even when I believe this totally, I still cannot accept students' involvement in this. We learn and learning should at least let us think even if it does not change us. Don't we have hearts and minds to do that? 

I don't have to go far away to illustrate that caste discrimination is still in practice. I have had the experience of hearing people talk or sometimes warn me to stay away from certain people, not eat at theirs place or take them home as they belong to a certain community. I am sure you might've at least heard people say things like this. What do you think will change this?

Some people are pseudo-anti-caste-allies. They could only see how they are being dominated or oppressed by dominant castes and are blind to how they treat people belonging to castes lower to theirs. Firstly, I don't understand how they hierarchize castes. We don't do the same work as our ancestors did in the past. 

There are so many things I regret and among them is the huge regret of being born in a world like this. I doubt if these dearmost casteists would be as happy as they are now had they accidentally been born in the caste they think are inferior. 

I really wish people mind their own business and not involve in others lives. Of course, I am a dreamer and I do dream of a place where people are truly wise enough to let others be themselves.

(I'm so relieved but at the same time distraught for understanding how this society functions. I know this piece of lamenting is not gonna change or move a thing but at least I get to vent it all out).