can i buy you a coffee?

i feel a sharp pain in my chest

when i see you with that smile.

you smile at me, having no idea of

how i saw you dying last night.

the image was gruesome.

gory.

it was your third time dying.

i've seen myself dying a fourteen times.

death was a recurring concept

scripted in my dreams.

i've gasped, cried, panicked,

tried to fix the dead -

but nothing ever worked out alright.

pfft, while i could be anything,

i still was failing my people in my dreams.

my dreams are distorted versions

of my lived and unlived life.

my dreams have a repeating pattern.

i see myself running, falling, being chased,

breathing, not breathing,

lying, confessing, feeling guilty,

sinning and repenting.

while i can be anything in my dreams,

i am still a mortal with no power.

i am still a hapless mortal.

i feel a sharp pain in my chest

for i didn't act with superhuman power

even in the unrealistic realm of my dreams.

i saw you dying in front of my eyes.

and i did nothing to save you.